I am Here. I am Now.

Today I did yet another valium drop. If all goes as planned, I am just 5 days away from being at a total of 1.5 mg per day. As I mentioned before, my goal was to reach that number by September 21, which is 3 years since I was at 15 mg. I like knowing that I am at a mere 10% of where I was about 3 years ago.

I have been going down by just 0.05 mg every 5 days. The way I achieve such small drops is by using liquid valium and a tiny 0.5 mL syringe. Since today was my first day taking just 0.05 mL (plus 0.5 mg in pill form), I figured I would take a photo to try to convey to you just how ridiculously small my valium drops have been. (I know I already showed this in my June post, but I’m hoping this photo, where you can clearly see my fingers will convey the tiny size better!)

Image description:
A tiny 0.5 mL plastic syringe with 0.05 mL of liquid. I am holding it in my hand to illustrate how small it is.

And to clarify, I have not been going down by such small amounts this whole time. I have been forced to that amount because I was having withdrawal symptoms when I went down by larger quantities. As I’ve said before, luckily my current withdrawal symptoms are limited to insomnia. But I figured if I can reduce the amount of the drops and stop the insomnia then it’s worth it.

Even as recently as late May, I was going down by 0.15 mg every 3 weeks.  But after multiple consecutive days of pretty bad insomnia, I decided I had to try something different. As much as I like consistency and routine and a plan, I’ve realized that in this case I benefit from flexibility and doing what works. If going down by smaller amounts, but dropping more frequently mitigates insomnia then it’s worth it.

Here are my recent medication related posts:
Med Milestone from June 26 when I reached 2 mg.
https://jesuisicihereiam.org/2026/06/26/med-milestone/

Birthday Activities from July 23 where I showed my first step to drop to less than one pill.
https://jesuisicihereiam.org/2026/07/23/birthday-activities/

I may make another post next week after I reach the 1.5 mg milestone. I am currently at 1.55 mg!!


I am here. I am now.
You are here.  You are now.
We are here. We are now.
💜