I am Here. I am Now.

I reject the clear duality contained in the terms “Disability” and the implied opposite “Ability.”
I know that we need words and terms in our language to define complex concepts. But when we buy into the ideas of duality rather than a continuum we are intentionally or unintentionally limiting our minds and our world views.

I was prompted to write this post by something I saw on LinkedIn basically lecturing (encouraging?) people with disabilities to identify as having a disability and consider themselves part of the disabled community and uncover the richness and insight that can be gained by being part of that community.

That us versus them mentality is antithetical to my goal of cultivating greater compassion and understanding between all living beings. When we create divisions between us and them, whether through our choice of words or through location or actions, we are putting up unnecessary barriers to compassion and understanding.

In grad school I was privileged to meet someone who works in the disability rights field. (Edit: A friend reminded me of her name: Rene Cummins, from Alliance of Disability Advocates.) She introduced me to a term called “temporarily able-bodied” or TAB.  On the surface it seems like a cynical and slightly scary term.  But when she explained the rationale behind it, it made sense. The idea is that at any given point we are all only temporarily able-bodied, whatever that term means to you precisely. Even if you never develop a chronic illness or a permanent physical injury, eventually you will age, and as you age, your body will no longer function as it does now. So you will likely no longer fit society’s accepted and normative definition of “able.”

Ultimately, at any given point we are all only temporarily able-bodied. So if we buy into this false dichotomy that there are some people who are in the disability community and other people who are normative, then we create unnecessary divisions between us.

I would instead advocate for viewing ourselves as existing along a continuum. And that continuum applies to the functioning of our physical body, our emotional health and well-being, and our cognitive and neurological functions.

We are all disabled in some way. We are all neuro divergent in some way.

If that were not the case then we would all be clones of each other. The only real way to explain how we have such diversity and heterogeneity in our world is by recognizing that there is no ONE norm. There is no average human!!! We are all diverse and divergent from each other. And that is where the true beauty of humanity and life lies.

Maybe some people like to sit in an empty blank white room with nothing on the walls and no visuals stimulation and no sensory stimulation. Maybe some people enjoy being in sensory deprivation chambers with nothing to see around. I find both options to be rather terrifying.

I love bright colors, I love seeing butterflies flying and hearing birds tweeting.  And yes I do have some sensory issues where I get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated by too many sights, loud noises, often physical touch and strong smells. I have never been formally tested for any sensory issues, and I don’t want to know. I don’t need a medical diagnosis or an ICD10 code to characterize or define my way of being in the world. I don’t need external medical validation of how I am.

At this point in my life, after decades of medical trauma, my preference would be to have no more interactions with the medical system. No more medical diagnoses, no new items or issues found that need follow-up. No fun new drugs to try that might just fix that one last problem.

A few medical conditions that I will acknowledge having right now are: PTSD and complex trauma (along with chronic pain).  Thanks to the work I’ve done with my current remarkable therapist, I have grown to realize that my severe anxiety and most likely depression are rooted in both those trauma diagnoses.

It is quite likely that my sensory issues are based on my PTSD. But it is also possible that I was born being extremely sensitive to my environment. And that in turn made interacting with the world harder for me. I’ve been a super smeller for as long as I can remember which means that I can perceive smells at much lower concentrations than the average person. One minor example: I’ve been able to smell our downstairs trash located in a closed cabinet while standing on the 2nd floor of my house. It’s an entertaining parlor trick but certainly tends to make the world a little overwhelming.

I have many other unique traits that someone could categorize and call disabilities. However I do not. My goal is to recognize and acknowledge the multiplicities of identities that we all hold at all times. And to avoid categorizing us except when absolutely necessary!

And to be clear I am in no way trying to invalidate the identities that other people choose to hold for themselves. Nor am I trying to erase the often harmful identities that society tends to thrust upon people in order to marginalize and other them.  Race and racism are real. Discrimination is real!
I want to honor and respect how other people identify. I just decline to be put into a box and labeled by OTHERS. And I decline to put MYSELF into such a box as well!

My goal with my writing is to move more into this direction. So I hope those of you who have joined me for the journey of my brain grape will hang out with me for this next stage of my writing progression.

I  am grateful for your presence! 💜

Sending much love into the world. 💜

I am here. I am now.
You are here. You are now.
We are here.  We are now.