I’ve had a few people tell me that I’m brave, in the context of my brain surgery [my posts about that journey]. My initial reaction is to resist that characterization. I’m not trying to diminish my accomplishment or my strength. The word just doesn’t fit my mental image of what I consider “brave.”
My personal definition has been: still doing things in the face of fear. And that didn’t apply in this case, for me. I didn’t feel afraid of this surgery! In fact, I was way more terrified of my prospects if I did nothing and just waited for it to cause me symptoms! [See my original Brain Grape post for those fun options!]
The other day, I finally looked up the definition of the word brave. I realized that it had many more dimensions than just facing fear. Before I get into those, I wanted to try something new. I’d like to invite you, my readers, to participate in this writing journey!
I’ve created a short survey asking what “bravery” means to you. My hope is to write a follow-up post where I share some of your definitions. The survey includes a spot for you to write in what the term means for you, along with a spot to tell me whether you would like to be credited with your first name or your initials or have it be anonymous.
Note: I still welcome your thoughts, even if your definition aligns with mine! I’m just curious what others think!
[A link to the form. More details about the form at the end of this post.]
As an aside, although I created this blog as a space for me to be here and present and bravely share my healthcare journeys (yes, I consider sharing my writing to be brave!), once I added the phrase “You are Here. You are Now,” it became a shared space for me. I realized that although I am the one doing the primary writing, you as a reader are an active participant in this process. So another stage of this process is to more actively involve you in the process of co-creation of space.
Now for what I learned about dictionary definitions of “Bravery.”
Per Merriam-Webster:
Bravery: “the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : the quality or state of being brave”
Brave: “having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : having or showing courage”
So it is not simply acting in the face of fear. It also encompasses facing danger or difficulty. While the first does not apply in the case of my brain surgery, the latter two definitely apply!
Obviously brain surgery does contain inherent risks or dangers as does any surgery. So in that context, I was being brave in facing the risks and dangers of surgery. The other aspect refers to difficulty. I myself did not have to actually do anything to perform the surgery. All I had to do was allow myself to be sedated and then lie on the operating table and do nothing. The surgeons and their very large team did all the actual hard work. The difficulty that I faced was in the post-surgical recovery time at the hospital. I have a lot of other health issues that need to be maintained and accommodated while in the hospital. So the scariest part of the entire surgery experience for me was making sure that my needs were met after I came out of the surgery. To that end I spent months writing up guidance documents to help the health care team with delivering appropriate care to me. I was fortunate enough to be connected with a nurse who used to work in the neurology ICU where I had my surgery. I got to speak to her twice and she answered a ton of questions!!
I wrote up 6 guidance documents and printed them out and put them in a folder to share with hospital staff, along with a copy for myself and a copy for my partner. Despite all that advance work, there were still many breakdowns where my needs were not met, and when I advocated for myself, I even got push back.
My partner assured me that I did absolutely everything I could in advance to prepare and to be sure that staff had all the information they needed to provide me with quality care. I am unable to force people to read or comprehend the information that I give them.
I may eventually write a post about the weaknesses of the system. But I have a few other avenues and channels through which I would like to pursue those thoughts first.
I will say that it was EXTREMELY brave for me to voluntarily submit myself to an inpatient experience knowing that I had a lot of medical needs that may or may not have been adequately met in a way that would keep me healthy and safe. So while the brain surgery itself did not require any bravery for me, agreeing to a hospital stay most certainly did!!!!!
I have more to say about bravery and how I definitely have been extremely brave in many aspects of my life in the last few years (separately from the brain surgery), but first I wanted to give you, my readers, a chance to weigh in!
As mentioned above, here’s your chance!
I’ve created a form for you to share how YOU define “Bravery” or “Brave”:
Google Form: Bravery Thoughts
Note: Only fill out the form if you’re ok with my using your quotes in a future blog post.
I include options to have the quote be attributed to:
Anonymous
Just your initials, or
Just your first name
Hopefully this Google Form approach will work out! I look forward to hearing from you! I’ll probably keep the form open for a week or so.
You are here. You are now.
May you be safe
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you have peace
May you give and receive love and compassion
May you be free
💜
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