April 30 marked one year of daily walks. I have missed days here and there. But the only time I missed more than 1 day in a row was when I was in the hospital after my brain surgery!!
There are no major epiphanies. No significant changes in my body. Just a daily practice of showing up for myself and doing something that I know is healthy for me.
Some background.
The start of my daily walks was very tiny. At the end of January 2025, I started working with an amazing physical therapist. I have been dealing with chronic pain for about 10 years and by January I had reached the point where I could barely use my arms because my shoulder pain was so severe. I had been avoiding seeing a healthcare provider because I have almost exclusively had negative experiences, and physical therapists have never actually helped me. But I reached the point where I just couldn’t function anymore. I was struggling to get dressed and take a shower. I couldn’t pick things up off the floor or reach anything on a shelf. My partner joked that I had T. Rex arms. That was a completely accurate and humorous characterization!
So that is what my new physical therapist faced at the end of January. By mid-April, she had gotten me to the point where I could use my arms a little bit past T. Rex arms and she wanted me to start to leave the house. She thought it would be good for me.
I won’t go into all the details of what was going on at that time. The short version is that in August 2023, I developed severe light sensitivity as a side effect of a medication I was on. The extreme light sensitivity took about 6 months to improve, but almost 2 years later I remained terrified of the sun. In addition, I had developed problems with thermal regulation as a side effect of a different medication. I had already been on that medication for over a year when my doctor decided to share that perhaps it was contributing to my thermal regulation. So in March 2025, I got myself off that medication. My ability to regulate my temperature definitely improved, but after over a year of basically being like a cold-blooded animal, I was pretty terrified of the heat. When that medication was doing its thing, if I got overheated, say by stepping outside or taking a shower or crying, it could take me up to 8 hours to come back to a normal body temperature!!!
So between the extreme light sensitivity and the terror of getting warm, you can understand why the outdoors didn’t feel like a safe place for me.
My physical therapist suggested that I start small and just walk to the mailbox. I stared at her and told her I could not do that. But because I am a people pleaser and really like her, I asked if I could just stand on the front porch for 5 minutes? Could that count? Being the amazing person she is, she responded, yes definitely.
That was the morning of Wednesday, April 23, 2025. That afternoon I bravely stepped out of my house only intending to stand on the porch. But that proved easy, so I decided to be an overachiever and walk to my mailbox at the end of the driveway. That ended up also being easy, so I walked to the end of my street!! It was only 3 houses, so a very short walk, but I did it. I ended up walking to the corner and back 3x! And because we had set a very low bar, I got to feel extremely proud of myself because I exceeded the goal. Sunday 4/27/25, I again walked to the corner and back 3x.
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Here is the stop sign at the end of my street. It is currently a little slanted. It was straight when I started my walks a year ago. Behind it is the slightly busy street outside my neighborhood. The sky has some clouds that are a bit colored by sunset.
Wednesday 4/30/25, I only walked to the corner and back once but I talked to one of my neighbors who I really like. Then the next day I walked to the corner and back again and did the same thing the next day. At this point it was 3 days in a row, and I didn’t want to break that streak. So finally on Saturday, May 3, I ventured beyond my neighborhood and crossed the big street and turned left down the sidewalk! That was the beginning of the magic. I had last walked that way in fall 2022. It was like seeing an old friend who I actually liked. I missed my sidewalk. I missed the trees along the sidewalk.
Lesson 1: Set easy goals
It can help to set easy goals if you’re an overachiever like me. It can be incredibly motivating to set very easy goals to start out. That way you get an easy win and you can exceed expectations right from the start!
On May 9th I started keeping a walk journal. I don’t remember what motivated me to start.
Here is my first entry
5/9/25 walk log:
A cute young (small) possum walking quickly by house as I arrived back home. So determined. Adorable from afar. A bit creepy up close. 😊 lol. It looked rather wet. I assumed it had walked through something wet. It had rained a lot overnight. It walked across the top of the driveway, through the mulch area to the left, in front of the steps, then into the mulch area to the right. I greeted it but it did not pause. Places to be …
5/14/25 walk log:
So many bugs on sidewalk to avoid stepping on. I was mindful! But it wasn’t relaxing. I didn’t want to harm any of them. Saw a small snail, I think! Cute.
On 5/13/25 I started reading a book called A Walk in the Wood: Meditations on Mindfulness with a Bear Named Pooh.
5/15/25 walk log:
“Wandering without aim is the name of this game so that’s what I’m going to do.” Quote from the Pooh book.
I decided to make it my practice to read a few pages of the mindfulness book before I went out on my walks. This way I was able to apply the mindfulness lessons I was learning in the book to my walks. It was delightful. And it gave my walks purpose. I wasn’t just walking, I was also practicing mindfulness.
The primary highlight and motivator for my walks was the animals I encountered. First it was just squirrels and birds. I would pause and talk with them. One time I saw a huge hawk. I saw it swoop down to the ground and dig enthusiastically in the dirt for some food. I’d never seen a large hawk digging in the ground like a lowly robin! Hawks usually swoop down and grab some big prey. It was funny to see it digging in the dirt like a common little bird.
5/19/25 walk log:
SQUIRREL!! Let me watch him/her eat and even went closer to me, like 3 feet away. It brought me such joy!!
5/20/25 walk log:
My little squirrel friend appeared on the same tree for a bit, then ran behind so I couldn’t see.
Another squirrel leaping tree to small tree, then crossed the road near my house.
Then I graduated from wild animals to getting to meet people’s dogs. I’ve never had a dog myself, but I know from my partner that the standard etiquette is that it’s usually okay to ask the dog’s name when meeting them. But I never knew if it was okay to ask the human’s name so I never did. I spent weeks memorizing dog names as I met them. Then I met a very friendly human with her dogs and on our second meeting she introduced herself to me and asked my name. That was my first opening to get to meet the humans associated with their dogs. She was a very friendly outgoing human. So much so that she even invited me to her winter party that was held this past February. It was the first party I had attended since before COVID. I still wore a mask when I was there but it was lovely.
6/11/25 walk log:
AMAZING! A (woman from Scotland) and R (man), F and O (dogs!!). House with pretty flowers by the mailbox and butterfly metal thing in the yard. Talked for a bit! It was lovely!!
Saw purple flowers and 3 squirrels on tree. XOXO ♡
In addition to the animals, I was delighted to discover various yard decorations. Here are my favorites.
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Brightly colored ceramic dogs in the front yard of a house. Fun fact: this house is home to 3 dogs that are the exact shape as the ceramic ones, except maybe a bit smaller. They’re very barky and also super adorable!
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This is in front of another house. I have a better photo, but can’t find it. It’s a sculpture of a gray alligator that’s about 2 feet long. On its back is a gray turtle sculpture, and 3 white geese. Behind it is a gray and black owl sculpture.
In the realm of neither plant nor animal, I also encountered some mushrooms on my walks! These are my favorites.
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About 6 mushrooms. The caps are all flat, like pancakes, and similar in color (light yellow or golden brown). One of them really reminds me of the Starship Enterprise!
Lesson 2: Find internal motivation
It was really important to have internal motivation and rewards. I found that it worked better if I had something to look forward to during my walk so that I wasn’t so focused on the outcome of completing my walk. Instead I got some enjoyment from the process. I have always been very outcome oriented. So this new approach helped me derive enjoyment from the process rather than solely the outcome.
In the last few months I have found it hard to stay motivated to walk every day. Unfortunately I’ve found myself increasingly distracted by social media and seeking those little endorphin rushes you get when you see a new communication from someone or simply a notification. I observe it happening and yet I feel compelled to stay engaged with my phone. Removing myself from the technology to go for a walk feels less appealing. I’m working on forgiving myself and welcoming myself back into the practice of walking whenever I am able. I have still stuck with the rule of never going more than 1 day without a walk. But I have found myself procrastinating the walks. I’ve even walked after dark a few times. It’s fine to do that, but it’s really unnecessary considering that I can walk as soon as I wake up in the morning. Instead I find myself attached to technology.
I don’t have any answers for how to address my shift in motivation and priorities. It is hard to maintain a habit. Nothing magical happens at the one year mark. It continues to be a daily practice of prioritizing my body and my physical well-being.
I don’t think there is any quick fix life hack. And the distractibility many of us suffer from as a result of the presence of technology and the intentional engineering of social media platforms is very real. Every day I just need to recommit to honoring myself and my body and my health.
I honor you for everything that you do to take care of yourself.
I may read through my walk log and write another post with additional excerpts!
May you be safe
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you have peace
May you be free from suffering
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